Confessions of a taxi driver - updated 27/11

A friend of mine is a taxi driver in a northern city. I thought it might be interesting to relay what he is telling me his customers are saying to him about you know what - which, to be fair, is pretty much all we can talk about nowadays, all being prisoners of this government's heinous experiment in relentless psychological terror.

I'll update this post regularly. The comments at the top will be the most recent ones. I think they give something of an idea of the mood of the nation, because people like to give taxi drivers their thoughts (as he knows well).

And yes, I know there was no Confessions film of the headline's title - the closest was Confessions Of A Driving Instructor, and there was also Adventures Of A Taxi Driver - but it has a ring to it, I think you'll agree.

Okay, here we go...

27/11

Just had a woman in the car whose husband is high up in the council. She told me that the government made their decision to put the North East in tier 3 based on figures as they were last Sunday. Apparently if they'd taken the decision based on the figures as they were yesterday we'd have been in tier 2. Rates and transmissions going down in the North East and going up in London but it's the North that they're targeting. I'm convinced they've taken that decision to increase testing up here to try and make out it's not been an unmitigated failure. They'll test thousands, claim rates have fallen as a result (when they're coming down anyway) and then stick me in tier 2 after that. You heard it here first.

26/11

Now is the winter of MY discontent. At the flick of a pen, I've lost about two grand of work over December. There'd have been so many families and couples going out for food and drink through December. Now nothing. Can't imagine much of the hospitality sector will even bother opening for the five days of Christmas either. So that's nothing until March in all probability. It's a complete farce.

20/11

I'm beginning to go stark raving bonkers now, as if I didn't already have a head start. On my own, practically in solitary confinement, day after day. I'm back at work now but the fact that I have to wait ages for every job is mentally draining. So tempted not to log myself on and just forget about it but I'd not be able to relax.

26/10

More free money coming my way. Should get another £1500 next month. I've worked it out, and there is very little incentive to continue working. If I didn't renew my licence and insurance and just stuck the car in the garage I wouldn't be much worse off financially. They're turning the country into a load of Wayne and Waynetta Slobs.

8/10

Just had a message from the office to say that, as of Monday, Northumbria Police will be stopping taxis, at random, to check if the drivers and customers are all wearing muzzles and are all Covid compliant. The maniacal grip tightens. To think, when I originally took up this job, I thought I'd be free to do what I want, when I want. The lack of work and the constraints placed upon it now mean exactly the opposite. I am a prisoner. Might as well just stay in my flat and drink fifteen cans of Guinness a day on whatever Rishi gives me. My work ethic has evaporated.

4/10

I was in Morrisons browsing the budget buy section and an old woman suddenly said to me, "You're a bit close! And put your mask over your nose!" I replied: "Eeh, I'm sorry, you're right. I could catch something nasty from you." The look on her (masked) face... 

1/10

This is the conversation I've just had with my last customer -

Him (as he opens my front door) - "Is it OK if I sit in the front, mate?"
Me - "I'd rather you sit in the back, if you don't mind, cheers."
Him - "Why?"
Me - "Well, we've had the screens installed for everyone's safety. Cheers."
Him - "This is ridiculous."
Me - "It's just the way it is now, mate. If you don't mind."
Him - "Do I have to wear a mask?" 
Me (through mask) - "Whatever you're comfortable with. You're supposed to by law but I'm not going to insist on it."
Him - "Do you want me to wear it or not?"
Me - "I'd rather you did, but it's up to you." (Conversation interrupted by someone blasting horn at me).
Him - "What's his problem? Tw*t!!" 
Me - "Dunno, maybe he had an argument with his missus."
Him - "I ***king hate these ***king masks and I ***king hate being told what to do."
Me - "Yeah, I know what you mean."
Him - "So, you been busy then?"
Me (lying) - "Yeah, been rushed off my feet."
Him - "Really? I'm surprised what with all this Covid sh*t like."
Me - "Where you going?"

Repeat ten times a day.

1/10

Planning my latest assault on the bank to pay cash IN. I wonder how far I can take it before they realise I'm taking the p*ss. To think, it wasn't long ago that Boris was saying how ridiculous burkha/niqab wearing Muslim women were, comparing them to letterboxes and bank robbers. Now he's insisting on it. Haaaha.

26/9/20

Keeping a mental note of how many of my customers are wearing masks. About 50%. Possibly less. Which presumably shows that a lot of people are no longer watching the news or keeping up to date with the diktats. I just leave it up to them and say "whatever you feel comfortable with". If I'm stopped by the Stasi, then presumably it's their fault not mine and any fine imposed will be theirs to deal with and not mine although it would be interesting to know how the legal profession interpret that. I'm wearing mine every time someone gets in the car but not necessarily for health reasons. If the customers can't make out what I'm saying, hopefully they'll give up trying to talk about it. Only five months, 25 days to go...

23/9/20

This is me in a queue to pay money INTO the bank. Back in the glory days, I'd have been arrested on suspicion of planning to rob the place. 

22/9/20

I'm getting the impression from the public that the whole thing is turning farcical. They're beginning to laugh at the policies, much like I have done from the outset. Students not allowed to return home at Christmas? Tracking apps on iPhones but not compatible on others? Grannies figuring out how to use Bluetooth? It's one big comedy show.

21/9/20

Here's a good one for you - now that I'm forced to wear a mask whilst working, by covering my nose, my glasses steam up, thereby making it more difficult to see the road. So, a measure that's supposed to protect the public from ill health, vastly increases the likelihood of death in horrific circumstances.

19/9/20

Joke for you - what's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

17/9/20

I have to put up with Covid talk all day, every day, so inevitably I want to switch off from it. In the cab, what I find is that people's opinions on it entirely depend on their own circumstances - older folk put their health concerns first; mums put their kids first; workers put the economy first; some put travel first, others put going out and having a good time first. It's all so terribly devisive and as a consequence, I no longer have any strong opinions. I just meander along.

To your annoyance no doubt, most people are well p*ssed off with the younger generation and believe that next week's restrictions are a good idea although most don't think another total lockdown can be enforced. They'll rebel.