Mad World

  If masks are so effective, with the government now mandating them in shops, cinemas, galleries, pubs and other places, then why don't they open up all of the following with no social distancing, and as long as we're wearing masks, surely we'll be alright? Sports stadiums Theatres GP surgeries so we can have face to face appointments Clubs And a whole lot of other places that are currently closed because of this unending hysteria. Could it be because our leaders are liars, and they know deep down that most masks worn by most people do almost nothing to stop the inhalation of pathogens? And they just insist upon them to keep panic levels high, and to keep people scared, mute and obedient? Perish the thought...

Since 2014, besides my job in publishing, I’ve also done part time work at the Little Theatre cinema in Bath, doing maybe twelve hours a month, spread between ushering, the kiosk, the box office and, most often in recent times, helping at the weddings the cinema holds (it has a licence). Ninety years old, the Little was long independent but is now a Picturehouse cinema, which comes under the Cineworld umbrella, so it is now closed for the foreseeable future, perhaps forever. This is incredibly sad; in fact, it’s a minor tragedy for many, many people. The first such tragedy is for the staff, and I don’t count myself as deserving sympathy because I have another job, but I feel for my ex-colleagues for whom it’s their only one. They were put on furlough in March and some returned in July, believing that the worst was over, only to now be punched in the teeth by the closure. The reason many of the nation’s cinemas are shutting is because of the government’s failed strategy so far, its fe...

It’s fascinating to read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights , the milestone document proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly in December 1948, in light of the events of 2020. Article 26 is “Everyone has the right to education” (our schools were closed for several months); Article 19 is “E veryone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression ” (Ofcom advised the BBC and its other licensees to treat with extreme caution anyone criticising the advice of the “public health authorities” , and tech giants like YouTube  and Twitter  suppressed views that were lockdown-sceptical); Article 9 states “ No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile” (millions were essentially put under house arrest); and Article 3 says “Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person” (lives were wrecked, liberties stolen). It’s definitely worth a good look because there are several other Articles that also appear to be at odds with global govern...

If you have a look at Allison Pearson's excellent column in last Wednesday's Telegraph you'll see she quotes 'Russell' and the plight of his octogenarian parents. Well that's me, and my parents! (Allison was so sweet, she sent my folks a copy of her latest book too.) And rules be damned, I'm visiting them this weekend in Newcastle (although actually I’m pretty sure I’m not breaking them, but who knows these days?). On Saturday I had an evening out at a pub with a friend in Killingworth in north Newcastle. Pleasant enough, pretty busy, wore my exempt lanyard and no problems or questions whatsoever. We had to do our bit - research by Wisteria Accountants has revealed that North East Pubs Could Lose £2M EVERY WEEK during the local lockdown. There were clearly tables where there were people from more than one household, which I’m pretty sure is against local rules. And I also suspect that several locals celebrating some of Newcastle United’s three goals tonigh...

  This was in Newcastle City Council's propaganda sheet newsletter City Life, Summer edition. So just remember to choose carefully when you have your accidents and emergencies, folks.  Didn't we all know already that A&E was for serious problems? How many people has this deterred from seeking treatment for an ailment that subsequently got much worse? Absolute scandal.

In a year in which we are desperately in need of laughter, it's great news that a new Borat film is released this month. Actually, is laughter still legal in the UK? Has Matt Hancock not forbidden it yet, for fear of it causing 'hundreds of thousands of deaths'? I remember seeing the first Borat film in 2006 at what was then the Muswell Hill Odeon and roaring with laughter, practically falling out of my seat. Ah, happy days of freedom and joy. The new trailer includes a scene where Borat tries to kill the virus by hitting it with a frying pan. You wouldn't put it past Boris Johnson to try similar. (And at one point Borat exclaims, "I hope quarantine never end!" - you often suspect that Johnson has a similar desire.) Come to think of it, though, comedy despot Johnson is more like the lead character from Sacha Baron Cohen's 2012 movie The Dictator .

For the times when there's really no option but to mask up, a few words scrawled on them might retain some semblance of individuality. These are my first efforts. Also considering: "Hi! I am one of Boris Johnson's mute, subservient zombies".

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2 There’s a very funny video up on YouTube that reimagines a trailer for Stanley Kubrick’s classic horror film The Shining as ’Shining’, a cute romantic comedy . You can also watch trailers for Dumb And Dumber as an Oscar contender , Inception as a Christmas holiday movie  and Mrs Doubtfire as a horror . Why am I telling you this? Because these clever and brilliantly edited videos represent how the same material can be spun differently, how you can generate a completely different mood with altered presentation, how you make people feel any emotion you wish to, if you’re cunning enough. Which is what our government has done with its presentation of the threat of the virus. Any advertising executive knows what's gone on here. In fact, it’s probably day one in their classes at Advertising School. It’s the image that goes along with the product, not really the product itself. Perfume ads are the ...

In June 2019 then prime minister Theresa May sought to move the subject of mental health up the political agenda , saying that, “ Tackling this burning injustice has always been a personal priority for me.” How tragic that her successor, Boris Johnson, has plunged the country into its worst ever mental health crisis, which will only worsen in the coming months.  Our government appears to only be interested in focusing on physical health, not mental. Actually, scratch that. They appear to be only interested in one aspect of physical health, Covid, rather than cancer, heart disease, strokes and many other ailments, the death tolls of which continue to mount. With just 307 healthy people under the age of 60 dying from Covid in the UK  this seems a strange, myopic, nay murderous , policy. While it is clearly unpleasant and sometimes fatal for the very ill, very old or morbidly obese, the truth is that of those who catch this virus, 99.97% will live to tell the tale. Coron...

A friend of mine is a taxi driver in a northern city. I thought it might be interesting to relay what he is telling me his customers are saying to him about you know what - which, to be fair, is pretty much all we can talk about nowadays, all being prisoners of this government's heinous experiment in relentless psychological terror. I'll update this post regularly. The comments at the top will be the most recent ones. I think they give something of an idea of the mood of the nation, because people like to give taxi drivers their thoughts (as he knows well). And yes, I know there was no Confessions film of the headline's title - the closest was Confessions Of A Driving Instructor, and there was also Adventures Of A Taxi Driver - but it has a ring to it, I think you'll agree. Okay, here we go... 27/11 Just had a woman in the car whose husband is high up in the council. She told me that the government made their decision to put the North East in tier 3 based on figures as...