Is this why Britain is failing?

I work for a company in England that has offices in different countries, including the US. It is a media company. I suspect it’s a fairly typical medium-sized corporation. In this post I will run down some of the things it has done in 2024 – though I could have gone further back (things started changing around 2018, with HR becoming ‘People & Culture’ and then got turbo-charged from 2020 onwards).

I’m not saying that all of these things are bad things. Some are quite nice. They are not all ‘woke’. But many are.

And taken together they suggest that many British companies in 2024 are perhaps not as focused on their core product as they might be.

Valentine’s Day treasure hunt

On 14 February, objects were hidden around the office for employees to seek out. First prize was a M&S voucher and there was a gift for all entrants. A decade or so ago you used to be able to secretly send a saucy message to an object of your affection, but this has long since ceased.

Red Nose Day

As explained on an internal email:

“We will be celebrating Red Nose Day on Friday 15th March, we will have 2 hours of entertainment in the deli from 12-2 pm.

There will be food, a photo booth, a raffle and a magician all there to entertain you.”

Celebration of Ramadan

There was a day last March in which the Islamic holy festival was celebrated, with a feast of Indian food in the deli. I love Indian food, but I chose not to indulge.

A message on Slack read:

“For those of you wondering why we are having a celebration of the end of Ramadan, a week late. This is so those that were celebrating Eid with family and loved ones, could also attend today.”

Empowering women

One day many pictures of successful women like Emma Watson (and not JK Rowling), accompanied by girl-boss things they have said, appeared around the office, including in the lifts and in the loos.

Easter 

The ‘Easter bunny’ paid a visit at the end of March to deliver eggs to anyone who was in the office.

Spring table decoration session

Last March employees were invited to “Create your very own spring table centre piece with your choice of flowers". Many flocked to the deli for an hour or two to do so, and pictures were shared on Slack (“That looks gorgeous” wrote one admirer).

Mental health awareness

As part of May's Mental Health Awareness month, there was a 'Wellbeing Webinar' and 'wellness boxes' were given out to every member of staff. Staff can volunteer to be mental health first aiders.

Pride month

We received this email from the COO on 31 May:

“Pride Month kicks off tomorrow, celebrating how important acceptance and equality for all members of the LGBTQIA+ community is worldwide. [Name removed], her team and the office communities have planned several activities during Pride Month, all of which we hope will demonstrate [company name’s] support of its own LGBTQIA+ community and foster connection among members of the community and their allies.”

It went on: 

“We’ll let you know more as the month progresses but some of the planned activities include:

“We’ll be holding our own virtual Pride Game Night towards the end of June. Look out for more details!

“We’ll be organising an opportunity for the LGBTQIA+ community in each office community group to come together and get to know one another. Stay tuned for an invite and more information to come! 

“Our [community representatives] will be decorating the office, promoting local Pride events and LGBTQIA+ groups, and they’ll also be holding a Rainbow food event during the month.”

In June, the Director of Talent, ESG, Comms & Engagement put this message on Slack: 

“There is still time to sign up for the Virtual Pride Trivia event happening on Thursday, hosted by a fun and fabulous drag queen!”

I decided not to go into the office that month, and WFH (which the majority of staff do, probably the majority of the time). Possibly I got off lightly, though: a friend who works at a well-known high street bank had Pride rainbows put on his computer’s desktop display, which he was unable to remove.

Free Prosecco

Every couple of weeks, new starters are indoctrinated, sorry, inducted, and we are invited to join them in the deli at 4.15 for Prosecco and nibbles.

SMART goals

Everyone is required to come up with at least four SMART goals (Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Timely) for their role, which are discussed and logged four times a year. This involves a good deal of admin. 

Slack 

Last year we were instructed only to use Slack for messaging, rather than Google Hangouts. Many younger employees are very enthusiastic users of Slack. 

There are many channels, and two especially popular ones feature pictures of employees’ cats and dogs (many pics are uploaded every day). 

Some are ostensibly about work. You wouldn’t want to challenge anything posted on Slack’s public channels because you'd be piled on. Here are a couple of messages that have been posted on our building’s Slack channel:

“I’m looking for non-binary folks to fill in a short survey (3 min). If your preferred title is Mx and you’re keen to help out, please DM me for the survey link. Thanks a million”

(The pronouns this person uses are ‘they/she’. How does that even work?!)

And (from the same person):

“A gentle reminder: With the onset of awful ‘summer’ colds and COVID, if you’re feeling under the weather, please don’t come to the office. As an immunocompromised person, I’m already nervous not knowing if the sneezing is due to hay fever or something else (even if I do want to give people benefit of the doubt). Thank you”

(The full capitalisation of covid is one giveaway, the rest… well, make your mind up as to the personality type this person is.)

Whereas only one or two names used to pop up on the HR Slack channel, there are now several. The department grows and grows.

Pronouns

The pronouns, oh my Lord, the pronouns!!! In the last three or so years, more and more pronouns have appeared on Slack and on email signatures. Even if the person is called Barry and has a beard (and is thus, obviously, a man), they can still feel the need to state them. I suspect the pronouners are a mix of true believers and those who have no idea that they are useful idiots for a movement which, at its core, hates the West.

Like masks were during (and after) the Covid lunacy, they are quite a reliable indicator of who you’d happily have a drink with, and who you wouldn’t. 

Weekly Snapshot

An email that actually comes round twice a week. I usually delete it without opening since it featured ‘Trans day of remembrance’ a few years back.

Free ice cream

In the summer, a hired ice cream van parked up outside the front of the building and gave out free ice creams to employees who had joined the long, snaking queue to reach it.

Town halls

These happen about once a month and last about an hour. They are online nowadays. In them, our overlords tell us what’s going on in the company. DEI is generally a part of the presentation.

Coffee & Connect

“A monthly, informal chance to meet a leadership team member, ask questions and learn about them and their career, while drinking coffee.” (And only asking questions about their DEI policy if you’re really, really brave.)

Strategy

Apparently there are ‘four pillars’ that underpin our ‘strategy’. The first one is a ‘Climate Pillar’ (“Our major focus is reducing the Greenhouse Gas emissions from our product”).

The second is a ‘Culture Pillar’. Naturally, the word ‘inclusive’ is in its description.

Then there is the ‘Community Pillar’ and lastly, the ‘Content Pillar’ which states: “We use the influence and reach of our brands to support the global transition to net zero by being a catalyst for change.”

Paws in Work 

Recently, staff could pet small dogs for a half-hour ‘therapy session’ in a building adjacent to our office.

Random act of kindness

Every week a name is drawn out of a box in reception to receive a gift for being kind, as nominated by one of their colleagues. The gift might be a coffee and cake voucher, an M&S lunch, a bottle of wine… (“the list is endless”)

DEI forms

It’s not (yet) mandatory, but there is a form on our internal website which asks you to state your race, gender, pronouns etc. I haven’t filled it in. An email from our COO about it made mention of unconscious bias training, so I wonder whether that will soon be upon us.

Mandatory manager training

A couple of months back us all us managers had to do three, two-hour meetings about managing staff with our Global Training Lead. The information imparted was either basic common sense (“always listen to what your report is saying to you”), or the opposite of common sense (don’t get your colleague’s pronouns wrong).

Pink October

Breast cancer awareness month is marked by a lottery, “or a lottertitty”. The deli also had “pink food and lots of information”.

Manager training: Neurodiversity

We were invited to another training session. (I didn’t respond.)

Here’s an extract from the email:

“The session will cover the following:

• What is neurodiversity?

• What are the neurodiverse conditions?

• What are the traits associated with each condition?

• Mental health and neurodiversity

• How we can be neuroinclusive throughout the employee lifecycle

• The right to manage and the legal framework

• The Equality Act 2010, and global equivalents, and key considerations relating to neurodiversity

• Communication differences that may affect the team

The above will take 90 minutes and will be followed by a Q&A, to include scenarios and a safe space to discuss specific challenges (real or hypothetical).”

Meetings, meetings, meetings

The amount of meetings encouraged and taken seems to grow by the year, in rooms, booths, boxes and other places. New booths have been constructed for meetings; even though there are far fewer people in the building these days, there are vastly more meetings than there were a decade ago.

It was suggested to us by management that everyone should be having weekly one-to-one meetings with their manager. My department ignored this and carried on with monthly one-to-ones, which are more than enough.

I’m reminded of these Thomas Sowell quotes:

“The least productive people are usually the ones who are most in favor of holding meetings”

And

“People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.”

Black history month

In February 2021, my company set up a new Black Lives Matter community. This included creating a Black History Spotify playlist, a group-watch of the film One Night In Miami and the promise that there would be ‘discussions, panels and other events throughout the year’. 

Things went quiet on this front for a while (lack of interest?), but this year, besides being sent an email about ‘Honouring Juneteenth’ (being British, I had to look it up), we celebrated Black History Month. Posters were put up on each floor featuring black people saying things. Thomas Sowell was sadly not featured. One of the propaganda sheets posters was titled ‘Reclaiming Narratives: The Power of Black Voices’. Unfortunately, a couple of the posters seemed to get a bit torn.

Then there was this email:

“This Wednesday in the Deli we will be celebrating Black History month with hot buffet style food consisting of Rice, Jerk Chicken, fried dumplings, salad and coleslaw. Aditional (sic) GF and Vegan/Vegi will be supplied.

Due to health and safety reasons the food will be available in two sitting (sic):

Floors 2&3 12-1pm 

Floors 4&5 1-2pm”

We mustn’t forget health & safety even when we’re celebrating the values of Ibram X Kendi!

Some may think "Wow, it sounds like a great place to work!" Others: "HOW DO THEY EVER GET ANY WORK DONE?!"

Fact: in 2024 the company has made many employees redundant and ceased production of several products.

Those that are left exist in a bureaucratic, technocratic, Americanised, highly feminised workplace. Their company determinedly ticks every woke box going, and uses every woke buzzword (so it can get ESG points and look good to ‘progressive’ investors?). You could argue that it's essentially communist. 

And you could argue that what I've listed explains why productivity in Britain is dire.

Younger employees embrace most of the above with enthusiasm. Older employees like me silently shake our heads, mutter under our breath and get on with things, in part longing for the day when this will all be over for us, and distantly remembering when work wasn’t like this, and was no worse for it. 

PS Find useful, relevant links here, here and here.